4.13.2010

Room for you

It’s taken a little more than a month to be able to settle on words that will inadequately describe recent events. And yet even a month seems that it won’t do justice to the new emotions that will continue to haunt the back reaches of my mind and thoughts. Something moves in the shadows of my heart that still hasn’t found the light of explanation, yet I’m compelled to try to express the beauty of it all.

Words and songs and phrases fail in my desperate need to bring some kind of summary of what’s happened. In school I was taught to analyze culture and people groups and to put them in categories or summarize their thoughts and behaviors. I try desperately to somehow find conclusions that are simply not there.

9:07am March 11th. Our world was colored with wonder and amazement. I remember some of my first thoughts and reactions as I entered the small delivery room. But many of them were too sudden or too fractured or too unexplainable to be able to try in a simple page to describe. Here, lying in a small bed was a new life, one untainted by worry or fear or doubt. This small life was carrying hope, joy, love, peace, destiny, purpose and biggest of all: intention.

4:07pm April 11th. I whisper songs of the Father into her sleeping ears, yet my words and sentences never complete as tears fill my ears and my throat tightens. How is it that she’s captured my heart in only one month? How is it that a life so small and fragile can move your heart to beyond words or explanation? How is it that she can rest so fully in arms of safety and security without being aware of where she is? How is it that I sometimes forget that I too can find my rest and security in my Fathers arms?

I smile in wonder at how she can sleep so completely while just beyond her reach the world seems out of control or in disarray and confusion. Yet not here, not with her. She closes her eyes and knows nothing of the troubles of life. When was the last time I rested like that? When was the last time I fell asleep and let myself dream in my Fathers arms? When was the last time I realized that my problems only seem big when my view of my Father is small?

Your Father sings over you Violet. He proclaims songs in unity with your heart. He declares songs that will give you character, emotions, skills, talents and personality. He shouts songs of destiny and divine calling; to be a daughter who walks in authority of her heritage as a releaser of captives and a provider of life.

There is room for you here Violet. Your life is most welcome in our world and in our hearts. There is purpose for your life and your breath and there is a need for your beauty on the earth. Your steps will not be missed, your words will not go unheard, your songs will not go unwritten and your heart will not go unguarded.

I the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people
and a light for the Gentiles.
Is. 42:6


Thanks for reading

2 comments:

Mary Kat said...

Wow Matt. This is a precious time for you. May you be blessed as He shows you more of Himself through this little life.

Created One said...

Matt,
My desired posture for reading blogs, news ect . . . picutre it: a lazy sat. (check, wahoo!!), (climate control, since its hot here) fan or AC (negatory), coffee (yes even though its hot) (check), lastly . . . time to ponder and enjoy (check). It has been too long, friend, and Oh what a blessing it has been . . . I continue to look forward to the next entry.

Welcome to the world sweet Violet!! May you continue to teach us how to live and exist as a child, deerly loved.

Blessings,
Laura