Cooking Utensils

While I’ve never been much of a great creative genius when it comes to cooking; I am partially able to tell the difference between teaspoons and tablespoons, the difference between baking soda and baking powder and the difference between forks and spoons. Although there are still a few items and techniques that I don’t understand, somehow I find myself researching meat tenderizers.

It seems that it can be multiple different things from an enzyme, which breaks down the connections of the proteins in the peptide bonds that blah blah blah… Or other options which include a hammer or an old cudgel like instrument that you use to beat-down a steak with. Still other options include a small gadget that looks like an “As Seen on TV” special. It has multiple blades on it and you use it repeatedly to pulverize a harmless pork roast. Regardless of which option someone chooses, the result usually comes out the same: a beat-down, helpless and surrendered, tenderized piece of meat. Which is about the correct definition of my heart.

A few months ago I got a surprising yet short phone call. My brother who’s been married for over four years now called to tell me my sister-in-law is pregnant and due in March. As this seems to be a very natural part of the marriage, growing-up and continuing the human species type event, I was kind of prepared for the day that I would get that call. However during a recent trip home something was very different about the whole event and how our family would be changing. The enzyme had started working.

Now the obvious part of the whole thing, which was explained to me recently when I related this story, is that because she’s pregnant she’ll start to have a little bump for a stomach. Which I guess I wasn’t really ready for until they met us for dinner one night. Suddenly the reality of my mom’s grandma status, my extended uncle status and the weirdest part of Micah being a Dad helped continue this strange tenderizing process. I think it was the cudgel.

A few days later as I’m driving and thinking about the new baby I start getting all glossy and watery eyed. (I had the windows open so it could’ve been some dust or a bug or something that just happened to get into both eyes at the exact same time) But I think it was something much deeper. I felt God opening my heart to an understanding and to feeling love and connection to someone that I’d never felt before. I began realizing that this small child that’s not even born yet, probably doesn’t even weigh as much as my wallet, has somehow captured my heart already. Somehow this young life is introducing me to a new way of knowing God’s love. It was definitely the hammer.

“Your heart is being tenderized” my Pastor told me recently as I related this story to him. I hadn’t thought of that. I had come home from the visit feeling that now more than ever I wanted to move back to California so I could be a part of this event. So I could be there when it happens, not actually be THERE in the delivery, but to be around. A life is being brought into the world and not that it hasn’t ever happened before to anyone else in the world, but for some reason this pregnant lady is different. For some reason God has taken all these cooking utensils and begun to unlock new places and new understandings of not only what love means, but also to continue capturing my heart for Him. The movement of His spirit isn’t so much focused on my physical location, but focused more on the status of my heart.

Whatever feelings of love, excitement, connection, anticipation or whatever else I’m feeling, I’m beginning to see that the only reason I’m able to feel or experience this is because a Creator placed it there. While made in His image, we must also be made in His likeness, which would then lead me to believe that we also carry His emotions.

What other avenues or areas is God waiting to open or explore in our hearts? How much more of Him can we begin to experience as we experience life and just let Him move in us? Is it really possible for God to love us and like us even more than we’ll even be able to know?

And yes of course I’ll be a good uncle who appropriately spoils this kid. Maybe not with all kinds of material possessions or things, but maybe I can spoil her or him with an unlocked place in my heart full of love, affection, encouragement and amazement. With how much I feel is in there, I wonder if it’s even possible for God to have more.


The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
Yes I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.
Jer. 31:3