Breaking and Entering

It's hard to imagine someone literally closing a door in your face. It's hard to imagine turning away someone who is trying to improve the lives of the very children you are there to protect. It's hard to imagine the absolute frustration I felt when I left her office.

The situation had turned bad when the religion teacher met with us and reluctantly "agreed" to let us distribute the Books of Hope in the schools. After all, we'd been there since that morning in the classrooms, why would there be any problem now? Time froze for me when the representative from the mayor's office returned moments later and said we could not give the students the books, a complete change, within moments. I asked to speak to the director myself knowing that I would not just lie down and take the defeat.

As we entered the small ten-foot by ten-foot office, I sensed quickly that the director had made up her mind, or someone had made it for her, and that it was not going to change. She informed me that we could leave the books in the library, from there the kids could check them out if they wanted and she started to arrange the papers for the correct signatures. I put my foot down, trying to keep the door open, trying to think of the options we had.

I asked for the reason, why was this door closing? What's happening here God? Show me, talk to me. The teachers don't want distractions, they're too busy, I knew she was not being truthful, every teacher was excited for us to be there, except the one whoís voice and influence was the loudest. I reached for the door handle, hoping to turn it or push it the other direction, but I think I missed.

We agreed to allow some books to stay in the school library, but not the 280 that we should have given to the kids. A compromise? Yes I think it was, I nearly cried when I got back with my team. I felt absolutely defeated. What is it God? What am I supposed to learn here?

I wish each of these stories had a happy ending. The reality though is that a door was closed today, and I felt responsible for not being able to keep it open. I knew that I did everything that I could do, and those negative thoughts and attitudes that I started feeling did not come from God. He was with us today, and he knows the childrenís names that still need to know about His truth.

As one door closes to us, another is being opened. Not only opened, but welcomed with open arms. You see, in one classroom, in the school right next door, one teacher is taking our ministry one step farther. She told her students that tomorrow they would take an hour of class time to discuss the Book of Hope. They would take the time they should've been learning about Economics, to instead learn about Life; to learn about God. They will read about His plan for their lives, His eternal Truths and His love. Is that what you're teaching me? That your timing is perfect? That you're working even when I feel I'm not?

After we've gone and someday forgotten about the most of the details and events of the city, God still has every child's name written somewhere. He has each of their hearts held gently and pulling them towards himself. There is comfort knowing that many of those kids have been called by Him to do incredible things.

When one door closes, I donít stop knocking on others. For someday God will require of us an account of how many doors we tried to open, and I don't want to start thinking of excuses.


There is surely a future Hope for you, and your Hope will not be cut off.
Proverbs 23:18